


Ashes of the Wildfire

by NeverBackDown001



Series: Fire and Flame(Ellick) [1]
Category: NCIS
Genre: Emotional Hurt, F/M, Hurt No Comfort, Mental Breakdown, Post-Break Up, it's sad but i like sad stories, please leave a kudos
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-18
Updated: 2021-02-18
Packaged: 2021-03-14 11:48:29
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,520
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29541903
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NeverBackDown001/pseuds/NeverBackDown001
Summary: Sometimes you have to step off and breatheAnd sometimes you don't know how to step back on.
Relationships: Ellie Bishop/Nick Torres
Series: Fire and Flame(Ellick) [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2170425
Comments: 1
Kudos: 19





	Ashes of the Wildfire

_He is an idiot,_ she thought viciously, the image of his face popping into her head. She only punched the bag harder, a sliver of pain rocking in her hands, but she ignored it. The pain was much much much better than the tear in her heart. Ellie was afraid that she would never be able to stitch this wound up, because every time she tried, it only deepened. 

_Should have never let him in_

She punches harder, the vexation in her chest growing with every punch and kick to the bag. 

_Should have never told him that he was all she needed._

_Should have never been this weak._

_You ruin everything._

The bag swings back and forth, rocking on the solid, creaky chain in the private gym she rented for the day(she could barely afford it, but she needed something.) Something to let the fury in her chest expel, and killing Nick was not high on the list, no matter how much she craved to do it. 

How could she have let this happen? Let someone in and think, think that they wouldn't ruin what was left of her heart? That was her weakness, thinking the best of people, letting them in, telling them it was okay, to handle her gently, but they always tore off a piece before they left, leaving a gaping hole until her heart was like a tattered t-shirt. 

_Don't let anyone in again._

_You're weak._

_How stupid are you? Thinking that he loved you? Thinking that he would ever, ever have the same feelings? He's just another player wanting to take whats left of your heart. Stop letting them in. Stop being so kind and caring. It's your time to show them that you can be just as cold._

The voices in her head are deadly, just as her strikes to the bag, she attempts to block them out, but they seem to find a way around the wall she builds. 

Another punch. Another kick. She doesn't feel better. Renting this gym for a couple of hours, thinking that if she tired herself out, she could forget this, and let the fire in her chest burn down to nothing but ashes. 

It doesn't work. 

She's been in here for hours. Hours and hours but she is still just as angry, frustrated and...tired. 

Tired of seeing Nick fifteen feet away and not being able to smack him with the but of her gun. Not being able to scream, yell and vent all of the pent up emotions bubbling in her chest. So she talks to him when partnered on a case, sometimes making a snide comment here and there, but trying to act as though nothing had happened between them, because he seemed happier now, then when he was with her. Or was that just because he was putting up a facade? She didn't want to know. 

She just wanted people to stop hurting her. 

_"You and Nick okay?" McGee had asked one day, maybe three weeks since. She had looked up at him, glancing over at the empty desk fifteen feet from her. Gibbs wasn't here, it was late at night, getting paperwork done. No-one knew._

_"We uh," She struggled to get the words out, stacked so high in her throat. "We, broke up. Few weeks ago. But I'm fine McGee." She promised him, the look of surprise and pity dawning over his face._

_"Oh." McGee looks like he wants to give her hug, but she's grateful he doesn't, feeling as though she may break down. "You wanna talk about it?"_

_Bishop considered it for a moment, then decided against it. "No. I'm good. Have a good night." Ellie smiled at him, gathering her things, all well knowing that when she got home, she would down a glass of wine and try to fall asleep, the images of her destroying his face the only way she managed to get a wink of sleep._

It had almost been six weeks. Nick had bounced back. Ellie hadn't. He was already talking of going on dates and a new woman he had met at the bar and it was a hot smack in the face. Rubbing it in that they where broken up and it wasn't affecting him. Like nothing had happened. She only wished that he hurt as much as she was right now. Wished that he lay awake, regretting it, tossing and turning, drowning it out. 

Ellie craved revenge. 

She wanted to hurt him. 

Wanted to see his face crumple, hope dwindle and fire die out. 

That is what he had done to her. 

Five months of being elbow deep in love, for what? A broken heart and crushed soul? 

Ellie vowed that she would never ever, let this happen again. 

Punching and kicking harder, with all of the strength left in her, she crumpled to the ground, sweaty and spent with all of the hours in the gym. 

_"I'm sorry." He had voiced back, his face pinched in an unreadable expression._

_"Sorry for what, Nick!? Sorry that you don't feel the same way? Has this all been a joke to you?"_

_When he is silent, she storms out, not before throwing the key he had given her in his face and shouting. "Fuck you Nick Torres. Fuck you and your dead heart."_

Six weeks is a long time, but not long enough to heal. She's tried. Been asked out on numerous dates or to simply hang. She declines, feeling like she would be cheating if going out. But Ellie can't cheat on someone who doesn't care, or not even there. 

She wants to hurt him. 

But she doesn't know how. 

_"Wanna go get a drink, Bishop?" McGee asked, it had been a few weeks since he found out, he reminded Ellie of her big brothers. Gentle, protecting and kind. Nick was walking on the other side of McGee, stony and silent. A wicked smile fell on her lips. It was her turn to make him feel terrible._

_"Actually, I have a date." She smiled, knowing it was a lie, but she didn't care, the expression on Nick's face almost laughable._

_"Oh!" McGee sounded happy and surprised for her. "With who?"_

_"It's Boyd. We, uh, ran into each other last week, so I promised him dinner." That's a half truth. She did run into Boyd at the bar last week. But she had stupidly told him she was taken and he didn't seem to mind, just wishing her and whoever she was with, a happy life. Now she sort of wished she didn't tell him that._

_McGee raised an eyebrow. "Wow, thought you two had nothing in common."_

_Ellie laughed. "Oh we don't. But he's cute, and why not?"_

_"Good for you El." McGee grinned cheerily. Nick was still silent, didn't say anything, because he didn't seem to care._

_Nick Torres and his dead, dreadful heart that refused to love._

_Ellie didn't know what hurt more, the fact that he was clearly over her, or that he didn't seem to care she was going on a 'date' with a guy she had broken up with to be with him._

She starts to sob. Loud, heaving, catharic sobs that shake her chest and rattle her aching bones. Why can't she just forget him? Like she's forgotten everyone before him. Like he's forgotten her. He seems to be fine. She's not. 

Ellie loved Nick. With all of her heart. With every breath she took. She still loves him. 

_The next morning, after her 'date', Nick was bright, bubbly, like he had won the lottery. Of course he was like that. Happier than ever._

_"What's up with you?" Gibbs had raised a white eyebrow, blue eyes hard as cobalt._

_"I, just landed a date with this hot senorita across the hall." Nick danced around the bullpen. Ellie ignored the bullet that flew through the shield. He was boasting about dates more than he did when they where just friends. This was just to hurt her further._

_And at that moment, as he danced around, all happily, Ellie knew that she could never love him again. Her heart that had melted when they broke up, hardened into solid stone. Unbreakable._

Her phone rang from her gym bag. Picking herself up off the floor she answered it, from the Director. This was odd. He never called her. Only Gibbs, McGee and Nick, when they had a case. 

"Yes sir?" She answered with the question in her voice. 

"Ms. Bishop, we need you here as soon as possible. There is an assignment waiting for you in Pakistan, close to your old post as an NSA analyst." 

She frowned. "How long sir?" 

"Six weeks. More or less, we can't confirm, but your desk will be waiting her when you return." Ellie thought on this. She would be leaving the States behind for almost two months. This could be good for her. Try and get a fresher start(even if in a war torn country), one without Nick on her mind. Without the pain in her chest. 

"When do I start?" 


End file.
